I have about 36 hours until I start injections. I will start the Loupron tomorrow night! I am terrified of what this is going to do to me!! haha ... I am just a chicken really! But at the same time it makes it all REAL.
I vented the other day to my mom about how people think it's funny to tell me that I am going to have 4 or more babies. I am REALLY not finding the humor in that simply because we don't have the SPACE nor the MONEY for 4 or more babies. To me it is not realistic and the thought TRULY scares the HELL out of me. For people to find humor in it kinda .. well .. it pisses me off. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and don't appreciate those that have said it over and over to me. But .. that is just me. I am TRULY ok with twins. REALLY OK with just one. But I guess we shall see what the plan is.
I am sure it is just nerves and the surge of hormones that I am getting but come on now ... really??! So .. that is my vent for the day ... I will update on the injections. I am kinda curious as to what they are going to do to me and I will also let you know what each drug is and what it is supposed to do. I have to research that first!! haha .. I don't remember much about fertility drugs!
Have a great, drizzly day!!
Piper
She looks innocent .. but looks are DECIEVING!
Brandan and Jaret
These are my SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Update on visit #1 to the Fertility Clinic
Today was pretty uneventful. We went and I had blood drawn and OF COURSE had to pee in a cup. Yippee!! I guess I better get used to it considering I will be doing it SOON for about 9 months!
We had a battery of tests done today. She measured the "curve" of my cervix. That was interesting. She did a "test run" on the transfer process. They put a catheter like thing in there and see how far she has to go to reach the destination where the baby(s) will be placed. THEN .. she filled my uterus up with saline to make sure that it was all smooth and nothing weird was there ... like a polyp.
She did a biopsy of the lining. She said that they do that to check for infection because most women have no idea that they have an infection on their uterine lining. I found that INTERESTING!! THEN .. holy HELL .. she "scuffed up" the lining and I have to say .. IT HURT!! It was a weird cramping feeling. She said that makes the lining richer and more vascular for the baby to attach nicely.
We start injections on Wednesday. This part scares me a little. I am about to LOAD up on hormones so that is scary!! Poor Mark and childrens!!
We are targeted to have the transfer at the end of the April. I REFUSE to announce whether it was successful until I see babies on a monitor and I know that they are ok. So .. Until we have that and until the parents know ... I will hold off on that announcement.
LOVES!! Prayers please ... I am really nervous about this!!
We had a battery of tests done today. She measured the "curve" of my cervix. That was interesting. She did a "test run" on the transfer process. They put a catheter like thing in there and see how far she has to go to reach the destination where the baby(s) will be placed. THEN .. she filled my uterus up with saline to make sure that it was all smooth and nothing weird was there ... like a polyp.
She did a biopsy of the lining. She said that they do that to check for infection because most women have no idea that they have an infection on their uterine lining. I found that INTERESTING!! THEN .. holy HELL .. she "scuffed up" the lining and I have to say .. IT HURT!! It was a weird cramping feeling. She said that makes the lining richer and more vascular for the baby to attach nicely.
We start injections on Wednesday. This part scares me a little. I am about to LOAD up on hormones so that is scary!! Poor Mark and childrens!!
We are targeted to have the transfer at the end of the April. I REFUSE to announce whether it was successful until I see babies on a monitor and I know that they are ok. So .. Until we have that and until the parents know ... I will hold off on that announcement.
LOVES!! Prayers please ... I am really nervous about this!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Funny how things happen ...
Ok so ... I am whining about money ... So I went and bought lottery tickets ... I was asleep before I saw the numbers so I had to check this morning!! WE GOT 4 OUT OF THE 5 NUMBERS!! HOLY SHIT BATMAN!! Talk about NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!! Had I megaplied ... we would be $600 richer .. but I didn't so it is $150 but hey ... that's $150 MORE than I had yesterday!! So .. now I am saving up to buy more for Friday and maybe that miracle will happen ... Do you know what I can do with $304 MILLION dollars??? I have HUGE plans for it!! I must win it first but I know that several people and a few churches would be super stoked to see me!!
Anywho ... We are facing having to put off the IVF because we at the moment do NOT have the funding available. This saddens me greatly because I was actually looking forward to being pregnant again ... I am afraid if we put it off to long ... it will not happen. I am getting older ya know .. not to mention that "woman issues" I have ... it makes things hard!
We shall see ... Prayers for funding would be appreciated!
Anywho ... We are facing having to put off the IVF because we at the moment do NOT have the funding available. This saddens me greatly because I was actually looking forward to being pregnant again ... I am afraid if we put it off to long ... it will not happen. I am getting older ya know .. not to mention that "woman issues" I have ... it makes things hard!
We shall see ... Prayers for funding would be appreciated!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friends
It is so hard to read the blogs of friends that are having traumatic issues in their lives but at the same time, she is embracing it and making the best of it. She is MY age ... she has cancer AGAIN ... this time ... treatable but not curable .... I can NOT imagine her fear or her mind at this moment. I would need SERIOUS psychiatric help.
This is when you look back and wish you had made more of an effort to be a better friend. This is when you look back and think about all the things in your life that you bitched about and took for granted. She is facing her future day by day and I am bitching about the amount of money it is gonna take to have a baby. She wants another baby but can't because she will be on chemo soon.
There are things in life that just make you sit down and SHUT UP!
Renee, if you read this ... I am praying for you ... I am praying for a day that you don't have to worry about this cancer crap. I am praying that you have ultimate healing! I am praying for your precious family!!
This is when you look back and wish you had made more of an effort to be a better friend. This is when you look back and think about all the things in your life that you bitched about and took for granted. She is facing her future day by day and I am bitching about the amount of money it is gonna take to have a baby. She wants another baby but can't because she will be on chemo soon.
There are things in life that just make you sit down and SHUT UP!
Renee, if you read this ... I am praying for you ... I am praying for a day that you don't have to worry about this cancer crap. I am praying that you have ultimate healing! I am praying for your precious family!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Treatment
This IVF stuff is INSANELY expensive!! Holy TOLEDO!! The amount of money I am just handing out BETTER produce me a baby!! I am about to have heart failure!!
Whew .. ok .. I feel better!! We started "Treatment" last week and I know now why I do NOT take birth control pills .. UGH! They make me soooo nauseated and not to mention the headaches. But ... just a few more days THEN I get to shoot myself FULL of hormones and subject myself to 3 times a week lab draws and sonograms.
We go to meet with the doctor in Lubbock Thursday morning and we will get more answers then BUT it is looking like I will have my embryo transfer on or ABOUT April 25th. That is just terrifying for me to say out loud!! As we all know .. I am the one that REALLY thinks about this kind of stuff and there is a chance that I can have NO children, ONE child, TWO children, THREE children OR FOUR children!! OMG!! Talk about ANXIETY!!! Mark would be TICKLED with 2 or 3 ... He is CRAZY!! I REALLY would be ok with just one ... two is a stretch .. but .. I am doing this for him because he has none of his own and I think that since I am physically able to carry a child then I should do that for him .......... WOW .. did that just SERIOUSLY come out of my mouth??! (haha).
I will update as we go ... I am scared to death!! But .... If it is meant to be that WE have a child or childrens together then .. SO BE IT! It is a little different for me CONSIDERING he is wanting to be all kinds a part of this ... He WANTS the kids and he is WILLING to help ... That is just a foreign thing for me!! But ... that just makes me LOVE him even more!!
Whew .. ok .. I feel better!! We started "Treatment" last week and I know now why I do NOT take birth control pills .. UGH! They make me soooo nauseated and not to mention the headaches. But ... just a few more days THEN I get to shoot myself FULL of hormones and subject myself to 3 times a week lab draws and sonograms.
We go to meet with the doctor in Lubbock Thursday morning and we will get more answers then BUT it is looking like I will have my embryo transfer on or ABOUT April 25th. That is just terrifying for me to say out loud!! As we all know .. I am the one that REALLY thinks about this kind of stuff and there is a chance that I can have NO children, ONE child, TWO children, THREE children OR FOUR children!! OMG!! Talk about ANXIETY!!! Mark would be TICKLED with 2 or 3 ... He is CRAZY!! I REALLY would be ok with just one ... two is a stretch .. but .. I am doing this for him because he has none of his own and I think that since I am physically able to carry a child then I should do that for him .......... WOW .. did that just SERIOUSLY come out of my mouth??! (haha).
I will update as we go ... I am scared to death!! But .... If it is meant to be that WE have a child or childrens together then .. SO BE IT! It is a little different for me CONSIDERING he is wanting to be all kinds a part of this ... He WANTS the kids and he is WILLING to help ... That is just a foreign thing for me!! But ... that just makes me LOVE him even more!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
A new start ...
It has been a while since I have posted anything ... So I'll update all that I can!!
It seems that I have been blessed with a new start at life! I have been with Mark for almost 2 years now and we are planning a wedding for July 30, 2011 AND I have started the INVITRO process!! If all goes well ... we will have our embryo transfer done on or about April 25th. This is both exciting and scary as CRAP for me!! My kids are housebroke and half raised ... starting over is soooo scary for me. BUT ... I am excited because Mark has no children of his own and I believe that if it is in our plan, then he shall become a father!!
Other than that ... we are all happy, healthy and moving right along!! I will keep all updated on the baby thing and as we get closer to the wedding!! I am excited for this year!!
It seems that I have been blessed with a new start at life! I have been with Mark for almost 2 years now and we are planning a wedding for July 30, 2011 AND I have started the INVITRO process!! If all goes well ... we will have our embryo transfer done on or about April 25th. This is both exciting and scary as CRAP for me!! My kids are housebroke and half raised ... starting over is soooo scary for me. BUT ... I am excited because Mark has no children of his own and I believe that if it is in our plan, then he shall become a father!!
Other than that ... we are all happy, healthy and moving right along!! I will keep all updated on the baby thing and as we get closer to the wedding!! I am excited for this year!!
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